First blog post

These are the first poems I ever wrote…feeling wildly emotional reading back through them, remembering what they were about, what situations and people inspired them. Anyone who says they would give anything to go back and be a teenager again must’ve skipped the high levels of trauma in a teacup (not to mention the real trauma’s that were part and parcel of those formative years) that I experienced. Also feeling slightly nervous posting these, from a purely ego perspective, as they are not pieces of writing that make me feel like I’ve hit a nail on the head or even succeeded in producing something half decent. They are raw and unformed…and so totally different to how i write now. But this was the beginning of my lifelong love affair with poetry and therefore fairly important…

 

 

 

The purple enigma

 

I am the purple enigma

Part red

Part blue

Part me, part you

I am a unity

 

Evil spirits tempt me

Angels, they just send me

Reaching the sky

Is the name of my game

Touching (this) reality

Is not my plane

 

Is this just a phase?

Am I just dazed?

Purple haze

Or soft red light?

Who’s to say

What time of day

I should choose to pray?

I’ll take me with me

On this journey through doors

Let me discover

Perceptions I’ll tour

I’ll find the feeling

I’ll split the enigma

The atom’s old hat

It’s love that sends us reeling

(aged 14)

 

 

Naked

 

Naked

I walk through this storm

No knowledge to protect

Or keep me warm

Your loving arms can’t protect me

This situation I’m in

Maturity’s the floats

That would help me swim

Your warm caressing eyes

Won’t show me the way

No, not this time

Too far I’ve strayed

 

Too far I’ve strayed

From the real reality

And no, not mine

Not yours

It’s all such a façade

This feeling I hold

I will never discard

For feelings like this

Come very hard

Seems like an eternity

I’ve been searching

For what exactly though

I’m not sure

For you or this state of heart?

For you or for love?

For love or for happiness?

For happiness or just fate?

 

This pain, it hurts

Sudden knowledge, it burns

But at long last

These feelings are mine to own

And no, I will never discard

For feelings like this come very hard…

(aged 16)

 

Swimming home

 

Envelop me with your wealthy soul

Hypnotic rhythms through me flow

Uninhibited here I go

I put love forward

Strong but slow

Welcome it into your mind

Take it into your soul

Feed me with your content

And I shall fly high on inspiration

 

Beautiful seeds

Please do sow

Reap the crop

And make it grow

Hold my hand

And feel me flow

Flow into your body

Touch your soul

 

So golden brown

So soft and warm

Salmon always swim home

(aged 16)

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll be there

 

Let me ride the waves of freedom

Let the liquid liberation

Fall softly upon my mask

These masks we wear

Are the problems we should share

Without a care

Let me ride

 

Let your anguish trickle

Deep into my sea

It can hold you

You can trust me –

I’ll be there

Our problems we should share…

(aged 16)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Free

 

As I look into my eyes I see

Many things I want to be

The person who I’m meant to be –

Free

As I step into my soul I feel

The funky bass of who I am

The woman/the girl

The boy/the man

The weeping child/the maternal one

The ice has melted in the sun

As I delve into my heart I’m there

The place I want to be

Free

(aged 16)

 

 

 

 

The interview

 

Opposite him, she sat down

As he smiled

She eased her frown

As he relaxed

Her defence went down

This interview ceased in half an hour

She looked beyond his eyes

And saw a heart

Beating passionately

In a rhythmic chant

She uncrossed her legs

Unfolded her arms

And slowly succumbed

To his honey charms

Drifting hand in hand

Through mellow days

 

Falling in love

Through a purple haze

Marriage, children

In love for all time

But then unfortunately

Reality strikes!

The interview was over

He shakes her hand goodbye

She leaves his office frowning

With a very deep sigh.

(aged 16)

 

?

I can’t keep relying on music

To tell me how I feel

Turn off the record

Let me feel it for real

Blow out the candles

Let me see it clear

Take away all pretentions

So I can hold it near

Blurred like the vision

Candlelight bestows

Consumed by the ballad

From head to toe

Confusion all around me

Can no longer tell what’s real

Withholding your innermost

Was never part of the deal.

(aged 17)

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