Woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown

 

i cut myself

(i want you to love me)

i hurt myself

(don’t want you to hurt me)

don’t love myself

(cos i need you to need me)

i hate myself

(believe you don’t see me)

feelings of poor worth

cause me to seek thee

in a way that is surely unhealthy.

 

Deep melancholia sets in

wept weep…

as i feel you break away

(fragments of light, vastness, pouring inexplicably away) from me

like sandy April beach

setting our scene

Taudry thoughts (they still)

haunt me

as i imagine you taking those time travelled steps

from…

all the way to away

towards

the door that sits

among many –

so many that my

illogical, irrational lacking in mathematical

mind can’t calibrate

can’t balance well enough to see

You moving further

and further and further

away from a spot once welded to…we

once possessed a telepathy

now all i feel is the presence of that door

and me

all alone and cold and without thee

why would you possibly want to see?

What could have been…

and Oh! What we could’ve been,

dear love, sweetest thing,

am i just existing,

drifting in what once was?

i have loved you without borders

as many have before my love

(doubtless)

time for a change, quizas?

or just some kind of positive relapse.

 

I so want to take you with me

want you to hold me dear

but there are forces between us dearest

that push us apart

when once upon a glorious, glorious time

of your wonderful you,

i truly felt a part…

(03/14)

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